he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
