You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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