my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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