So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You can't motorboat a personality
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
