covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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