Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
