I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
