I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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