Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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