I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
