While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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