AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
