Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Come share oat with me in your robe
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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