So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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