The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
