the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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