I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My hand turned me down
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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