he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I cockslap morals
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
