But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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