the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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