It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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