She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
