have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
