I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
