she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
