My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
