I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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