If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
they're like a gay fantastic four
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
