How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
