Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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