She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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