Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
