I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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