i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Text me some of your sweat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
