Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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