dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize