the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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