Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
