First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
