You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize