I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
