Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize