Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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