She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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