you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
