Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
