Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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