The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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