it's not cheating when I paid for it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
