Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
