We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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