A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
