maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
