are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
