what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
