can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
