honey bunches of taint.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
