Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize