Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
