I heard we made out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
