By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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