Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
