also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
