Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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