I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
