Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
