Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
