Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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