i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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