look no pants
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
