This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize