kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
