I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
