I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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