U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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